One of Our Own
by Fire'N'Ice
Summary: Ok, A girl named Michaela gets sent into the Camden World, whatever shall she do? Rating just in case...
1. Sisters

Disclaimer: No, I don't own 7th Heaven, you all know that, right? Right.

A/N: Ok, this is just something I thought up one night when I was over-tired and sugar high from this wonderful frozen drink called Creamy Dreamy Orange.  I thought to myself, what if one of our own was thrown into the Camden world?  And I don't mean someone who worshipped the show, but, rather, someone who loves the parodies and general mocking.  Thus, Michaela was created this is her story.  I have 3 chapters done (the first and 3rd ones are pretty short) and I'm not sure how long it'll go (probably depend on my enthusiasm and how many reviews :p).   Anyway, for the purpose of being able to insult them to their faces, Mary and Matt are at home and Robbie never left.  Okay, I know there are people who don't like the parodies of 7th Heaven so I'm telling you now that it is one so stop reading if you think it will insult you.  I don't mind getting flamed for this, but it really won't matter at all to me or make me stop, so you'll be wasting your time.  Save your energy and go read something you'll like.  Anyway, to everyone else, hope you enjoy.....

Chapter one "_Sisters"_

Angry yelling that seemed to be right next to her interrupted Michaela's happy dream involving various gorgeous celebrities waiting on her hand and foot.  Eyes still shut, she tried to figure out what could be happening.  Her parents wouldn't be arguing in her room and she was an only child so she could only imagine she was hearing things.  Her eyelids drowsily came up and instead of seeing her big room with powder blue walls full of only her stuff and her, Michaela seemed to be in some sort of attic and there were two other beds and two other people in front of her.  One looked to be about 12 or 14 with dark hair and was smirking up at the other, a short, blonde girl with a chipmunk type face which was currently pinched into a deep frown.  All the noise appeared to be coming from them...

"Ruthie!  You looked in my diary again!" The blonde yelled.

"I did not.  Besides, you're a grown woman, why do you still have a diary?" The dark haired one kept smirking, it was kind of irritating.

"That's not the point!"

As Michaela slowly began to wake up, she realized the voices were familiar, the faces too, even the room seemed to be somewhere she'd been before.  Then what the blonde had called the younger one hit her: Ruthie.  She stared at them harder and a light bulb clicked over her head: they were the characters in 7th Heaven!  For a horrible moment, she thought she had actually been somehow transported there, but no that was impossible.  Surely, she thought to herself, this was just a dream.  No one would be so cruel as to stick her in such a place.  She would close her eyes and then when she opened them... she still saw Ruthie and Lucy fighting.  Ok, one more time... still the all-knowing child and spineless one in front of her.  Oh well, eventually she'd wake up, right? RIGHT?  Panic began filling her as she hurried to pinch herself, trying to awaken.  All that came out of it were some painful marks.  "Noooooooooooooo", she wailed loudly, overcome with grief.  The other two girls in the room turned quickly at the pitiful sound.  "Michaela, are you all right?" Lucy asked, concerned.  No, how can they know my name? Michaela thought to herself, telling Lucy, "I'm fine."  "Are you sure?" Ruthie asked, "You can tell us if something is wrong, that's what sisters are for", she offered in her know-it-all-because-I'm-an-omnipotent-child-so-hah-on-you voice.  _Sisters_ the horrible word ran through Michaela's head, she was _related_ to them.  All the components of this came flashing through next... hair challenged Matt was her brother, come-wax-my-eyebrows Simon was too, I-love-me-and-old-men Mary her sister, the reverend Erik Camden of no religion was her father, hey-kids-go-live-in-an-unfinished-garage Annie was her mother, and the identity-less twins were her brothers, admittedly, she'd never disliked the twins but it was freaky how often they spoke in unison.  Also, she'd have to deal with abusive robot-man Kevin and dopey (but cute) Ben and why-aren't-I-on-a-better-show Roxanne and every stupid secondary character that appeared.  It seemed just too much to take, what had she done that was so awful that fate felt the need to do this to her?!  The tears began and she couldn't stop sobbing.  Lucy was confused for a moment, wasn't she the crier?  Ruthie, with all her wisdom, could tell something was wrong with Michaela and that something had caused her to cry.  She nodded to herself in deference to her insight.  Michaela, meanwhile, was busy trying to think of something not so dire about the situation.  She then remembered she'd forgotten a member: Robbie.  He wasn't so bad, at least he didn't make her want to gouge her eyes out with a spoon.  Speaking of members, with her added, it wasn't 7th heaven anymore.  Of course, she wouldn't show up on TV so she supposed it didn't matter.  As these passed idly through her head, she stood up and wiped away the tear tracks on her face.  She would go and take a shower and fully wake up, all the while thinking and she would discover an upside.

And she did.  For just about every single episode ever aired, Michaela had wanted to physically harm the characters for being the idiots they were.  Now, she wasn't going to attack them, but she would finally be able to vent her feelings.  She would tell everyone exactly what she thought of them.  It could, quite possibly, be one of the happiest times of her life.......


	2. Watch the Road!

Chapter 2 "Watch the road!"

Michaela took a deep breath as she prepared to go down to the kitchen, where all the family was.  Why it couldn't have been a weekday, instead of Saturday, and they'd all be somewhere, she didn't know.  What she did know is that she was on her way to saving her parents the cost of a therapist....

Everyone quieted down and looked up when she walked in.  It was confusing until she realized that Lucy and Ruthie must have mentioned her crying.  Normal people might think maybe she wanted to keep it to herself, but these were the Camdens, and normal rules didn't apply.  

"Just take a picture", she muttered as she went to get a drink.  They all continued to stare at her silently and goose bumps broke out on her arms.  She tried to drink her orange juice but those creepy eyes wouldn't leave her so she slammed her cup down and everyone jumped.

"Is something wrong hunny?" Annie asked, twisting her mouth.

After a short debate of whether it was worth it even to explain, and deciding against it, she just turned around and walked out.  Yes, she wanted to vent, but the stupidity of the situation had her running for cover.  She was on her way out of the front door when she saw Happy and was overcome by sympathy.  "Hey girl", she pet her, "You poor thing, you're the best member of this family, aren't you?  I just got here, but you have to spend forever with them", the thought made Michaela shudder.  With one last sad look at Happy, she walked out.  Part of her wondered if when she got to the limits of 7th Heaven world, the road would just end and she'd plunge into nothingness.  To be honest, that sounded better than facing the CamClan again.  "It's like a freakish cult", she pondered out loud.  Actually, the neighborhood was quite nice.  She felt bad for the people that had to live there though, they must have people staring in their windows and trying to fix imaginary problems of theirs all the time.  A car came up behind her and slowed down.  Although she was nervous at first, she reminded herself that she was a "Camden" (ugh) now and things like kidnappings didn't happen to Camdens, they just helped the kidnappees.  Turning around, she discovered it was Matt in the car, and he didn't look too pleased.  She briefly wondered if it was because he had finally found a mirror.  Sighing, she walked up to the passenger window, which he had rolled down, "Want something?"

"Yes, get in the car", he said sternly.

Michaela laughed out loud, oh yes, she had somehow forgotten that Matt saw himself as a second father.  Major power complex.  She couldn't count the number of times she had yelled at Mary and Lucy on the TV that he was just their brother, they didn't have to listen to him.  Then she would be cursing Annie and Eric for letting him be his "I'm-the-oldest-boy-so-I –rule" self.  Now it looks like she was going to get a chance to duel it out.  She leaned on the window, "Why?"

"Because I want to talk to you."

She raised an eyebrow, "Then make an appointment", she turned and started walking again, trying to conceal her laughter.  She could see his face in her mind, sputtering at her 'defiance'.  The car came to her side again and he looked even angrier, "Get in the car, now."

"Anyone ever tell you that you have definite controlling issues?" She called out without stopping.  She heard the car turn off and his footsteps running behind her.  He took her arm and turned her around to face him, "What do you think you're doing?"

"I thought I was taking a walk... but you, as a man, surely know better, so tell me, what was I doing?" She couldn't hide her smile as he looked dumbfounded, then laughed as she realized that wasn't at all unusual.

He scowled at her amusement, "What you're doing is not listening to me."

"Oh good, I was kind of afraid you'd get the wrong impression and think I cared.  Glad that's cleared up", she pulled out of his hold and resumed walking.

After a moment of hesitation, Matt ran up behind her again and took her arm, "Wait, I want to talk to you."

"Yeah, you mentioned that."

"Then let me!"

Michaela sighed impatiently, "Damn, if it'll make you go away", He glared at her, eyes widening at the "damn" and she laughed, "Oh I'm sorry, soiling your virgin ears am I?"

"Just get in the car."

She rolled her eyes, "You guys need a serious boost in the humor department", and sat in the passenger seat, "So, where are we going?"

He seemed more relaxed now that he'd gotten his way, "Just around, I want to talk."

She nodded, "We've established that.  Now, you couldn't have waited to talk to me till I got back?  Or on the sidewalk?  Or in the backyard?  Or anywhere else?  You feel the need to drive in circles, wasting gas, to talk.  Yup, makes perfect sense."

He looked at her, "Drop the attitude".

She smiled sweetly at him, "Only if you keep your eyes on the road.  I refuse to die here", he glared some more then turned back to the road and it was silent for the next couple of minutes until Michaela spoke again, "Well?  You wanted to talk?  Speak, boy."

His tone became that of what Michaela had always called his "I'm-an-asshole-patriarch" lecture voice, "I want to know what's going on with you lately.  You've been talking back non-stop and this morning, Lucy tells us you were crying.  Then, mom asks you a question and you just walk out.  You have no respect.  Are you listening?"

Throughout this, she'd been wondering if she could have a unicorn in this dimension.  Hey, it wasn't nearly as outrageous as some of the things that had happened on 7th Heaven and she'd always wanted one.  She heard Matt ask her something but wasn't sure what it was so guessed and said, "Yes", that seemed to please him and he continued, "Now, mom and dad are the parents but I still feel the need to butt in and act like it's my business so I'm telling you to stop your behavior.  As you know, my word is law, so you must listen.  Understand?"

...Or maybe she'd get a monkey, a cute spider monkey.  She'd name it Alex and have it sit on her shoulder and go everywhere with her.  If she was lucky, she could train it to bite the people she didn't like.  She smiled happily, imagining Kevin writhing on the floor in monkey-induced agony.  Oh, damn, he'd asked her something again.  Well, yes had worked last time so... "Yes Matt".  He seemed appeased again and looked at her, "I'm going to keep an eye on you".  She wasn't able to block out that line and sighed, "I'd really much rather you keep an eye on the freaking road."

His eyes went big again, "Your language is another thing."

Ugh, she was seriously trying to keep her rant in until they were out of the car.  She really didn't want to create conflict when the genius over there had control of a vehicle she was in.  But, it was tempting... "Oh, lighten up.  What?  Simon can want to have sex and Mary can fall in love with father time but I can't say a few words?"

"I told you, I want respect".

"And I want a monkey named Alex, we don't always get what we want Matt, get over it."

"Michaela", he began sternly.

"No, enough", she cut in.  Screw the car, she had reached her bull limit, "You listen to me now.  You are not a father, and god willing you'll never, ever reproduce, but, in any case, you are most certainly not my father.  You are a brother, deal with it.  You have no power, read my lips.  You cannot tell me, or any of us for that matter, what do to", she remembered the episode when Mary started dating, "Or when to date, or anything.  I'm sorry if this crushes your dream, but deal.  I will say what I want, do what I want and you have no say at all.  Are you understanding?  I know you're slow so I'm trying to be accommodating but you're working on my nerves", in his shock, he had pulled the car to the side of the road, "You are a sexist empty headed idiot", she stepped out of the and yelled before she slammed the door, "And do something about your damn hair already.  You're supposed to be a heartthrob for god's sake."

She began walking quickly and after a considerable amount of time, looked back and could still see the car sitting there.  She imagined he still had his mouth hanging open.  "Moron", she muttered and continued on her way.


	3. Who Needs a Leather Couch to Lie On?

Chapter 3 "Who needs a leather couch to lie on?"

Later on, as she got closer to the house, she wondered what would await her there.  Truthfully, she'd been surprised more people hadn't followed her.  Or why Eric and Kevin didn't have the whole police force on alert.  Yes, it had to be 48 hours for a missing person but when one ran things like Eric did, one didn't pay attention to such minor details.  Anyway, she figured there were two options...1. Eric, Annie and Matt would be waiting for her with the rest of the family listening in from behind the door, 2. The rest of them wouldn't even bother hiding and just sit out in the open in a 'family meeting' fashion.  She sighed, with all of them there at once, she was bound to lose her voice from screaming so much.  Then, she had an idea.  More than likely, she was expected to walk in and right into the living room ambush... but what if she just went upstairs?  She could go in the back door and right up the kitchen stairs.  Smiling to herself, Michaela executed her plan and lay on her bed.  Staring at the ceiling, she once again wished to be home, away from the horror.  Her last thought before drifting to sleep was wondering how long they would wait.

A while later, she awoke to find the room dim.  Wiping her eyes, she looked around and saw she was still alone.  Curious, she crept downstairs and, peeking in, saw they were still waiting.  Covering her mouth to keep the laughter in, she went in the kitchen.  Surely they couldn't have been sitting there all that time.  Surely they couldn't be that... "Actually, yes they could", she said to herself with a smirk.  She was pretty shocked, though, that they didn't have some sort of search team out yet.  Maybe they'd already called?  She shook her head and went out the back door to get some fresh air.  She expected to be alone and moaned inwardly when she saw Kevin coming down from the unfinished treehouse of hell.  She tried to slip away without him noticing, but his sensors must have picked her up because his eyes shot to where she was and he yelled out what sounded like, "Wait".  Rolling her eyes, Michaela folding her arms and waited for him to reach her, tapping a foot impatiently.  

"What are you doing here?" He asked sternly.

"I should ask you the same question.  Why aren't you waiting in there with the rest of the stooges?"

His jaw clenched more, if that was possible, "I don't like your attitude".

"Okaay... so?" she replied breezily.

"What do you mean "so"?" Kevin couldn't believe someone would say such a thing to him.

"So what do you expect me to do?"

"Nert spek tht wey" was what Michaela heard, but she guessed what he meant and answered, "Who do you think I am?  Lucy?"

Kevin looked taken aback.  Or, at least, that's what she imagined he would look like if he could show any emotion at all, "What is that supposed to mean?"

She sighed, "It means you're overbearing and abusive and Lucy is a spineless wimp.  Very simple actually, I would think someone run by a computer would catch it", he opened his mouth but her voice got louder and she cut him off, "And don't even THINK about saying you're not abusive.  What do you call telling her what to do, freaking out if she doesn't listen, constantly putting her down and making her apologize when she's done nothing!?  Damn, and her letting you is a disgrace to women everywhere.  Any self-respecting female would've castrated you by now... or whatever the equivalent of that is to a machine.  Then there's the whole 'process' you had to go through to propose.  Ask her father?!  And what if he had said no, Kevin, hmm?  Doesn't her answer matter just a tinsy bit more, she will, after all, be the one who MARRIES you!!  Talk about controlling, having to have it all your way, you deciding the time and etc., ridiculous moron.  By the way, what was with that whole thing?? She knew you were going to propose, you knew she was going to say yes, what was the whole freaking point!?  Ohh, and there's the whole kissing Roxanne to "get back" at Lucy, real mature.  News flash, a man and woman can be talking in a CHURCH and it doesn't mean they're doing anything!!!  But, no, that would be logical, right?  You're not programmed to be that.  What is it with you and Roxanne anyway?  Why do you want her and Lucy to be friends so badly?  All right, Luce isn't being the most rational of people but hell, if she wants to hate Roxanne, she can.  You can't tell her how to feel!  DAMN all you do is order people around, well here's an order for you: GET A FREAKING BRAIN!"  By the end, Michaela's hands were fisted at her sides and Kevin was staring at her in disbelief.  She looked up behind him and saw the whole CamClan with similar expressions.  She wasn't sure when they had gotten there but didn't particularly care.  She pushed through them to the door and, right before slamming it behind her yelled, "AND THE REST OF YOU CAN GET A LIFE!"  Walking upstairs, she started calculating how many sessions she'd filled in so far.


	4. You Have No Idea

Chapter 4 "You Have No Idea"

Strong sunlight forced Michaela awake the next morning.  As soon as she got up to the attic, she went to sleep.  She didn't hear Ruthie or Lucy come in and wasn't even sure if they had, maybe she scared them?  The thought made her laugh happily.  As she got dressed, she wondered what havoc she could wreak that day.  Sunday held a world of possibilities....

On her way downstairs, she ran into Annie, who smiled cautiously at Michaela, "Hi, sweetie, I was just coming to get you."

"For what?" Michaela searched her brain for what it could be.

Annie's smile faltered even more, "For church, of course."

Uh-oh.  Church hadn't even occurred to her.  Fact was, Michaela didn't believe in organized religion and didn't intend on going to any church, especially not the Camden's mystery one.

"Um, Mom", her mouth choked on the word as she posed the question many many viewers were asking, "What religion are we?"

Annie's face contorted in an inhuman way, "What are you talking about?  You know."

Michaela smiled slightly, "Refresh my memory".

Annie threw her hands up, "This is ridiculous.  Just go eat breakfast."

"You don't know, do you?" She grinned.

"Of course I do.  Honestly, I don't know what is wrong with you lately.  First your outbursts with Matt and us, now the questions".

"Questions you can't answer."

Annie twisted her face even further and Michaela inwardly wondered how it was possible, "Look, we are trying to be patient with you, but if you aren't careful, you'll be on restriction."

She rolled her eyes, "Grounded!  Everyone in the world but you says grounded!  What is with this "restriction"?  Are you too good to use the normal word?  Do "sinners" use it or something?!"

The older woman gasped and grabbed her chest, "How can you speak to me this way?"

"Easier than you might think.  Anyway, it doesn't matter, I'm not going to church." She began to walk away but her "mother" stopped her.

"What?????" She looked so horrified, one would think Michaela had just suggested drinking half a beer.

"I don't believe in organized religion, no matter how ambiguous it is."

"But... But your father is a minister."

"Actually, right now, he's a faithless old man who writes sex novels and stares at the sky a lot.  Maybe he should see a minister."

Annie's eyes almost fell out at the "S" word and Michaela sighed, "What?  "Adult relations novels" Is that better?"

The eyes came back and narrowed to evil little slits, "You are a minister's daughter!  You aren't to say such words and you will go to church!"

The sane girl shook her head slowly, "No, no I won't.  What is it with you people?  First Matt couldn't get it through his head that he is powerless, then Kevin not admitting the abusiveness, now you and church. I am not going!  It's against my beliefs!  And don't say anything about mine, you don't even know what yours are!"  With that, Michaela stormed off, muttering to herself, "Stupid people who are Christian but never mention Jesus, have a rabbi cover services, idiots".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

She walked into the living room where the twins were playing.  And by playing, it is meant that they were taking their toys and banging them against various surfaces.  _They're gonna break something_ she thought to herself _And, of course, it'll be someone else's fault, hmm, wonder where Ruthie is_.  They noticed her and looked up, speaking together, "Hi sister".  Michaela shivered involuntarily, it was like the scene out of some horror movie.  Soon, they'd all find out that the twins were actually possessed by some evil spirit.  Or, possibly, God himself, who, being very angry about how the Camdens portrayed Him, decided to smite them all.  The idea made her smile contently.  Of course, the twin's would be spared, for they were but innocents in the insanity of CamLife.  They'd be given to a nice, sane couple and forever forget their time in hell.

She walked closer, "You guys do know that you can talk more, right?"

"Of course we do", one answered independently, surprising Michaela, "But it seems to please all those people for us to act like we're mindless drones."

The other, shorter, one nodded in agreement and added, "They aren't the brightest bunch, you know."

"Oh yes, I know", she sighed, "How do you put up with it?"

"Like this", the shorter one said and threw something at a glass object, shattering it, "Now, when that odd woman comes in, we'll just say whomever we wish to suffer was supposed to be watching us."

The taller one laughed, "Silly people, they'll take the blame and we'll get cookies.  Which, of course, we will throw all around the room.  It's rather fun, actually."

She smiled at them, "You really are much smarter than you're given credit for."

They answered in unison, "You have no idea."

Annie came running in, "Oh no!  What happened?  Who was supposed to be here?"

The twins smiled innocently and answered, "Brother Matt."

"MATT!" Annie hollered and went off to find him, leaving the twins right next to a sea of sharp glass.

Sam, David , and Michaela all grinned at each other and began plotting....


	5. Fighting Fire With Fire

A/N: I'm baaaaaaaack!!!  I got so many nice reviews, thank you everyone!!! :)  And to the person who asked why I do it, I just... do.  I don't know, I actually liked the show when it first started but gradually it just became unbearable and this is my way of venting.  Hope that answers your question :)  Please enjoy.... (also, if this chapter doesn't show it, I really really don't like Ruthie)...

Chapter 5, "Fighting Fire with Fire"

Michaela won the war with the family and didn't go to mass.  She acheived this by saying that their pressuring would lead her to a Downward Spiral and did they want her to turn into Mary?  At this, every member except Mary gasped and became very worried indeed.  Mary, for her part, began ranting about it's her life, she can do whatever (and whoever) she wished, blah blah blah.  

The upshot is that the family ended up feeling very conflicted and surely would be hearing some sort of sermon about it from Eric that day.  He had one planned of course, but would obviously feel the need to toss it for one related to his family.  It would be full of many meaningful pauses as he tried to grasp what he wished to say.  At the end, all of the congregation would have tears in their eyes and, undoubtedly, it would eventually lead to Chandler having a mental breakdown because he'll never be as good as Eric and etc.  The most important thing, though, was that Michaela wouldn't have to listen it.

Her and the twin's first victim would be Ruthie.  It would be quite correct to say that Michaela had it out for her.  In the beginning of the show, Ruthie had been cute and precocious.  As time went on she became evil and bothersome.  Michaela hated how the girl always knew everything, never got in trouble and was just generally a brat.  Her know it all attitude made Michaela want to run for a sharp object.  Like that time she was lecturing Sarah about the engagment ring issue... 

Michaela's mind trailed off as she remembered Sarah.  Where the hell was she?  She was, after all, married to Matt (poor girl), shouldn't she be around there somewhere?  The only conclusion Michaela could come up with was that Sarah would randomly appear at times, with no explanation of her abscene, like most 7th Heaven secondary characters.  

"I hate this freaking show", she muttered to herself as she made her way up to the attic.  Ruthie had to have some incriminating evidence somewhere.  And how would the little demon child like being the one blackmailed for a change?

The kid was good.  Michaela grudgingly admitted it after much fruitless searching.  But no one was perfect (much as they may think so), there had to be something somewhere...

"Aha!"  Michaela was examining the floor under Ruthie's bed when she noticed a small, almost invisible, difference in the wood.  After careful manuevering, she managed to pull up a square of the floor.  It revealed a goldmine.  There were pictures of every member of the family doing things they most likely wouldn't enjoy being aired.  There were even a couple of Annie and Eric.  

"That explains a lot", Michaela mumbled to herself as she removed everything.  There were little notebooks full of notes, she flipped to the last entry in one and read, _"Michaela's acting odd, I'll have to keep a closer eye on her.  Who knows?  This could benefit me.."_  

Michaela laughed a bit evilly, "Just the opposite, _sister dear_".  

All of this was well and good, she could use it against the other girl, not to mention free the others to do as they wished to Ruthie.  However, she wanted some dirt on Ruthie herself.  It came at the bottom, tucked into a corner.  It was another little notebook, but instead of notes on others, seemed to be a type of diary.  In it, Ruthie outlined all her plans, "accomplishments", and so on.  

Michaela thought of Cruel Intentions (a very good movie) and how Annette makes Sebastian's journal into a book at the end, exposing Kathryn.  "Perfect", she thought at she looked over the treasures she'd unearthed.  They included a wad of cash, undoubtedly what Ruthie had gotten from her family through many blackmails.

Michaela ripped a piece of paper from one of the notebooks and wrote on it, "Afraid yet?" before placing it in the now empty hole.  Right after putting the cover back on she raced to put her stash somewhere Ruthie would never look, keeping the "dairy" on her.  Then she made sure to put all of Ruthie's things back exactly as they had been.  Michaela wasn't too bad herself.


	6. Small Issues

Ok guys, I know it has been FOREVER. Between my personal life becoming ... difficult and my laptop crashing over and over again, this story got on the back burner. Also, due to the WB not airing on my cable anymore, it's hard for me to watch 7th Heaven. However, as this is a parody, I've decided I don't care if it matches the show or not anymore, muahahahahahahha! hehe, anyway, I was reading through and got inspired! Also, I wanted to fulfill a certain cambodian mime request, lol. And don't worry, Lucy shall pay her dues. If anyone has anything else they want to see, do tell :D It's short, but it's here....

Chapter Six "Small Issues"

Ruthie Camden walked into her dark attic room. Lucy was with her fiance, soothing his hurt robotic feelings over Michaela's words. Ruthie glanced around and satisfied herself that she was alone. Her wayward sister was probably off yelling at some other family member. Ruthie actually found it all very amusing, she held a great disdain for her family as well. However, she sensed Michaela would become dangerous, so she had to make sure the girl was kept in line.

She crept over to the hidden compartment beneath the floorboards under her bed. Prying the boards out, she stuck a hand in and grasped.... ... ... nothing. Wait, a piece of paper. Ruthie held it up and read it in the dim light. Her eyes narrowed, _Michaela_.

Meanwhile, the girl in question was wandering about outside the house, trying to get a handle on everything. Obviously she had been put there for a reason. To make the Camdens pay for their idiocy. Who knows? Maybe it was even a work of God. She and the twins were deep in their planning. In the end, revenge would be sweet.

She heard soft voices coming from the backyard. Her mind told her to ignore it, but it was like a car accident, she HAD to see. Readying herself, Michaela entered a very odd sight indeed.

The Reverend was sitting on a tree stump with his guitar. Sitting around him were Annie gripping the twins, and... her eyes widened. A man that appeared to be a mime. He also appeared to be one of the few minorities that were allowed on the show. Of course, his nationality had to play some part, otherwise he would be cast out. The mime was currently making the motions of a machine gun and chickens. Eric was strumming his guitar and singing softly, "But when you're down, when your village has been torn up, your chickens shot, come to the loooooooooooooord, ohh come to the loooooooooooooord".

"Um", Michaela was speechless, "Umm.."

Eric looked up, "Michaela! I'm so glad you're here. Please, sit. I was just telling Mochi here that no matter what, god can help him".

She was so stunned, she actually sat down next to Annie. The twins broke free and went to her.

"Help us!" Sam whispered, "This has been going on for an HOUR!"

"He won't stop", David whimpered, "The mime man tried to leave, but they wouldn't let him!"

Michaela sighed and turned her attention back to Eric to hear him say, "Mochi ,you can get through everything. I've had hard times too. Once my eldest daughter had almost a whole beer, and my adult son doesn't always do exactly as I tell him. You may not believe this, but we've even dealt with one of my sons getting drunk. But we have been able to got through this devastation, and even help others along the way. They don't always know that they need help, but we show them the light. So don't let yourself drown in the fact that your whole family has been stolen away from you back in Cambodia, because, as you can see, I have weathered worse and come through shining".

At this point, Michaela expected the mime to pull out a real gun and blow Eric's self-righteous head off. Instead, he just kind of stared at him, as if he didn't believe it. He looked at Michaela, as if asking her to yell, "Got ya!" But all she could do was shrug sadly and shake her head. He seemed to finally give up and just ran out of the backyard. Michaela swore she could hear screaming after a while.

"Oh Eric!" Annie gushed, "Don't you see this is what you're meant to do?! Look how you helped that poor man! Come back to the church full time!"

"No Annie", Eric shook his head, "That's not the life I want anymore. Don't you see? I had a heart attack!!! How many people actually experience that?" Michaela snorted at this, but he continued, "The church is my place no longer". Annie let out a sob and rushed into the house with her tears.

"Uh, Dad", the word tasted disgusting, "If you don't return to the church, how exactly will we pay for anything? And where will we live? The church owns this house".

He smiled at her, "Small issues my dear, small issues", and he walked dreamily into the house, playing his guitar. Michaela stared at the twins, and all three of them covered their mouths and screamed with all that was in them.

All for now, but more once I have enough time on the family computer...


End file.
